you always know
will it work? i’m really tempted to go hong kong but will it really work? guess i think too much. it’ll be 5 years when i can go there and he might change. who knows what can happen in this 5 yearsah. 2 weeks in cuhk i house liao. everything’s been fine except the thief who keep stealing my food. quite pissed me off but well, can’t let this thief ruin my semester here right?
and fortunately, i had read books like Kahlil Gibran “The Prophet” and Mitch Albom “Tuesday with Morrie”. these kinda stories always bring some enlightenment and positive energy to my life. so glad i have much time to read up over here. something i could not do in singapore because of all other commitments. but here, after lessons everyday, is revising, surfing net, and read!! haha. i always feel like a frog in the well. i kno guess.ca w i have not been reading enough and really glad to have broken this inertia and read so many books within these few days. i’m going to continue doing so because reading such books make me happy, make me think more about life, make me look at things in different perspective.
that irritating thief. i hope she/he will feel guilty of what she/he has done and repent while she/he has the time. i can log on to internet from the hostel but it’s not using my port and cable. i drag the cable from my roomie’s internet port to connect to my pc. will ask if she mind using my cable and port instead. seriously think we can’t rely on technology too much. i felt so down for the past few days because i can’t connect to internet. haiz. poor me. but if i’m in spore, i think i won’t be that sad. after all, now the internet is my only mode of communication to my dearest family, friends and andy in spore. without internet, i can’t chat with them, can’t have video call with andy and that’s making me very sad recently. hopefully this problem will not occur again. i don’t expect a wonderful exchange in hk but at least a peaceful one please.5th night in Hong Kong, 1st night in CUHK. the first 4 nights passed quite fast, perhaps cause it guess.ca ‘s always about eating and shopping. but now, when i’m alone in th guess.ca e temporary hostel using internet, i begin to miss him. i did not shed a tear when he sent me off last fri morning, i just thought 4 months would fly and soon he’ll come to hk to find me.
now, all alone, in a quiet, small and cold room, the absence in the heart never sounded this loud. glad we had so many techy stuffs that allows easy communication. still, he’s busy working, i know he’s trying to save up more money to come hk and have a good trip with me, but that makes us have less time to meet online. unrealistic dreams in particular. i thought i can make a difference, can make an impact. but then, it’s really tiring to stand steadfast to the dreams alone.
look at education. look at the youngsters. look at singaporeans. look at people around me. most importantly, look at myself. what have i really done that i want myself to do or be? i know i can’t be LKY or mother Teresa, but i really hope to be someone special. such as letting people feel that the world is a worthwhile place to live in, that what they do are worthwhile, that love is always there, that they are not alone, that they are actually very blessed.
kinda hard right?I am so so so disappointed. thought i could get on dean’s list this year cause my YGPA is 4.95. Haiz. the max is 5.00, i’m just 0.05 away. Thought i heard last year dean’s list is only 4.80+. I have 4.95!!!! Why am I not on the dean’s list? And they never even announce, no w guess.ca ay to check who are the ones who scored better than me. I thought this is the best grade i can get liao. but still. i’m not on the list. why why? i just want to be on it for once. once will be quite sufficient in my 4 years university life. haiz. my mentor is a nice lady and I’m amazed that she’s not stern and doesn’t need to get yell at the students to maintain discipline. even when she’s teaching the normal tech class with ah lians and a school bully that behaves like a gorilla hitting chest as and when and threatening smaller size classmates, she does not lose her temper at her students. guess i really have a lot to learn from her. well, not that i scold my kids but the fact that she can make them quiet without being fierce and inapproachable is something that i hope to achieve. but again, after just a few interactions with the kids in class, i guess i’m just that kind of teacher whom kids are not afraid. it’s good because i know i can establish close relationship with them easily but bad because i can’t maintain the discipline, which i can foresee i will be lectured by the sch management in future.
flying to hk soon. time flies. can’t believe i have the chance to go overseas alone. will it be a lonely one? D said he’s afraid i can’t take care of myself there and worries for my safety but i know i’ll be fine. i have guardian angel watching over me. i guess the most frightening thing should be loneliness and me missing my family, friends and andy. been spending time with him almost everyday during this holidays, definitely will be hard to adjust when i’m alone there. can’t call or msg him as and when i like. haiz. and he’s working night shift so it’s hard to have video call online.
sob sob. let’s hope time flies in hk tooit’s weird. i don’t know why i actually dreamt of him contracting aids from her. it’s quite sad to hear that although it’s in a dream. i can still feel the shock and impact when i wake up. luckily, i am not that type that have dreams that come true, if not it’s really quite unfortunate to have that happen.
yup. been accepted for hk exchange. looking forward to it. just that it’s a pity yr can’t go along, i don’t think i have much in common with the other 2. haiz. binging and shopping trip alone won’t be of much fun i guess.